Why do men find it easier to have an orgasm? Understanding the arousal gap.

The arousal gap is not just a feminist construct, it is a statistical reality. While we always have to take statistics in the area of sexual behaviours with some reservations because of the lack of funding they receive, it is broadly accepted that the gap maybe in the region of 30% in the favour of men (95% reporting having orgasms vs 65% of heterosexual women. The gap is much narrower if you consider women engaged in same sex bedroom activities.

There are various reasons for these: biological, anthropological, cultural, psychological, etc…

As a species sexuality serves one purpose only: reproduction and for successful procreation to happen you need a man to ejaculate and therefore you  can see how the male orgasm is strongly seen as very important. (it should be noted that men can also ejaculate without having had an orgasm but it is a relatively rare occurence). On the other hand, a female orgasm is not necessary for procreation and again we can see how people may have derived the idea that it is therefore a bit irrelevant.

Sexuality has only expanded in the area of hedonistic sexuality over centuries but again always  within the prism of phallocentric society.  Sigmund Freud referred to female sexuality  as the “ dark continent” admitting that he had very little understanding of it.

A century later, there are still a number of misconceptions which are preventing the narrowing of the arousal gap. Here are some statistics which helps us understand them.

Of the women who can have an orgasm (between 13 and 17% of women report never having had an orgasm) only one third of woman can have an orgasm from penetration only. Two third  of women need both clitoridian and penetrative stimulation to have an orgasm.

Having those statistics in mind, we need now to take them in the light of another set of statistics:

The average sexual intercourse lasts 5 to 7 minutes. The average time it takes a woman to have an orgasm is 13 to 20 minutes. Maybe this is the true arousal gap.

In therapy, I see mostly women who come in saying they can't reach an orgasm. When we start talking about masturbation, it soon becomes apparent, they very much can have an orgasm. In actual fact, the work often focuses on allowing oneself to have an orgasm.

It is not doom and gloom however and we should also remember that while a penis has according to different research 4000 to 8000  nerve endings, a clitoris seems to have over 10000 so potentially giving more pleasure. Female orgasms also last longer than men’s (20 seconds vs 3-10 seconds). Because the blood supply doesn’t leave the clitoris as quickly, it allows for multiple orgasms. Squirting can also be an intense rush of pleasure sometimes preceding an orgasm and away from the clitoris, the breast can also provide orgasms.

About the author:

Martine Ruzza, Sexology therapist

M.A, BSc.Psych, B.A, Prof. Cert. Sexology.

have established “Sexology Therapy Ireland” to provide sex therapy, either as a stand-alone basis or as a referral as part of the overall treatment of patients. The service I provide includes a thorough patient assessment  My approach uses a combination of evidence-based methods, including Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), sexoanalysis and practical exercises, tailored to each individual's needs (eg: breathing, Kegels, dilators).

Press Contact:

Martine Ruzza

www.sexology.ie martine.ruzza@sexology.ie

Phone: +353 (0) 89 4782431